Mum (Guilt) is the Word

I wanted to be able to post at least once a week, but I didn't really want to just write for writing's sake. So when I post, I'm usually thinking pretty hard on things. One of these subjects as of late has been the whole mother guilt thing. Sometimes this subject is absolutely overwhelming to me. I feel guilt over, well just about everything. I wonder if I pay enough attention to each one as individuals, I wonder if the things I say to them will be taken the wrong way and that's the one thing they remember for life as a destructive moment (when all I was doing was correcting them.) I wonder if I'm feeding them the right food, reading to them enough, encouraging them enough. I wonder if they will constantly compare themselves to each other (which I know they will because I did as a sibling.) I feel guilt over not having enough money to provide the dance lessons, the gymnastics, or being able to afford joining the team. I wonder if they will only remember the moments I was so overwhelmed with everything that I snapped and finally started yelling. I compare myself to other mothers and I hate it. Somedays I wish I could be a man...because Matt doesn't seem to have these feelings running through his mind. I truly think it's a woman thing. I have days that I can say to myself that all these feelings are silly and I know that "this too shall pass" but then there are other days that I start to have this overwhelming feeling of, oh crap, I'm ruining my children's lives...and I only have a few years left with them. I mean have you really thought about what an amazingly short period of time we have them? That's another thing for me...how do you let them go to experience life? I get that as I grow older, I will figure that one out and that ultimately I can never again have full control over their lives and who they are, but I pray to God that he has given me the strength to show them the good ways in life and how to be great people...there are so many bad/rude people out there that they will encounter. So I vent for a moment...I think mum guilt is bogus. Boo to it.